Inside the Sad, Bizarre World That Was the Lauren Conrad Show
Also absent from the venue was anyone recognizable from Lauren’s former place of employment (er, “employment”), Teen Vogue, any celebrities willing to admit they totally love The Hills, or any decent fashion. We don’t say that with (much) glee. We went into the show completely prepared to like it, to be embarrassed by liking it, and to spend the rest of the week being defensive about liking it. This did not happen. Lauren claimed the line was inspired by her recent trip to Paris, and given how obviously and ham-handedly this influence was translated into the clothes, we’re frankly surprised she didn’t style the girls with baguettes and giant wheels of Brie. Let’s just say…there were berets involved, and, overall, the collection was sadly kind of tragique. We expected a line of derivative but serviceably-adorable cocktail dresses much like what Lauren herself wears around town — you know, the type of stuff she probably bought a season ago from BCBG and loved. Instead, we got paper-thin leggings with lazy and plain triangle shirts, cheap-looking fabric more befitting a Target line than anything you’d pay boutique prices for, and a terrible color palette that would give Michael Kors an aneurysm.
We understand the desire to strike while the iron of her celebrity is hot, but, overall, the effort felt very young, in the sense that Lauren probably needs a few more years of design school before she’s ready to take on anything this ambitious. Photos do the line more favors than an up-close look — hardly anything was properly fitted, many of the dresses bunched in the back, and one model’s boobs were totally squeezing out of the top of her dress. Our greatest moment of joy was seeing Chantal, the runner-up from last cycle of America’s Next Top Model, strutting down the runway — but even that was tinged with sadness, because, seriously, the girl still cannot walk and may even have regressed since she was last under the tutelage of Miss J.